How do I formulate the words to say that I am neither happy or sad? Or how one minute I am fine and the next it feels like my heart has dropped out of my chest and all I am left with is a hole, so deep and painful? How do I explain that in… Continue reading Life Will Begin Shortly
Let me start by telling you the good news: My back is so much better. I can feel the odd twinge permanently still but it’s not enough to be making me hide out in my room and cry. The second is that even though I didn’t reach the ward target weight gain yesterday, I’m still… Continue reading Good and Bad News
Have you ever sat and thought to yourself “Why did I ever say that?” or “What made me think that that was a good idea?” I’ve been thinking that a lot in the last couple of days. When you first come into treatment you go through a standard procedure before you choose what programme you… Continue reading Lot of Work Left
Thankfully today I can tell you that I think I’m beginning to come out of the other side of whatever last week was. The pain from my back injury is less and mostly tolerable which is fantastic news because I really don’t do pain very well. Don’t get me wrong, I have a pretty high… Continue reading It can’t be temporary
It is now day 41 of treatment. Is it terrible that I’m still keeping count like that? I think I do it because I don’t want to let myself forget that I still have a life that I left behind and that it wasn’t that long ago. It’s easy to let the time blur and… Continue reading Treatment Luck
I feel like in the last two days I’ve hit both some major highs and lows and to be honest I am kind of reeling from it. You’d have thought by now that parts of my mind would have begun to emerge from the fog or at least figured out how to prepare itself from… Continue reading Missing It
I’m trying to be happy today…I really am. It’s my birthday. I don’t want to be sad even if they don’t mean that much to me. But I was weighed this morning and seeing that number go up the way that it has it making me want to cry or crawl out of my skin.… Continue reading Weight Gain
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Replacing your neurotic misery with ordinary human unhappiness.
This is my story of abuse,self harm, bulimia and much more..
adventures in food
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