When I wrote a couple of days ago I think I was feeling an overwhelming sense of lostness. I wanted to stop time and calm the chaos in my head down or withdraw from the world completely because it seemed too much to continue to ask myself to carry on fighting when I felt so… Continue reading Reclaiming what felt lost
My Eating Disorder appears to be kicking my butt right now. The last couple of days have not been easy on me. As I mentioned in my last post, I was going to be having my CPA yesterday. That happened and lets just say I was not prepared for what was going to happen in… Continue reading Double blow days
It’s been a few weeks since I’ve seen anyone in my care team. I’ve kind of being letting things slip but not in a way that is noticeable if you weren’t looking. The excuses came first, then the reasoning for what I was doing and finally the acceptance. In the beginning I had a full… Continue reading New Plan
Lately I’ve been working on a project for an organisation that I volunteer with. One of the things that I am doing for that is looking through its archives and exploring its history, in particular patients old patients files. These files go back to the late 1800’s and are filled with thousands of names and… Continue reading Old Psych Life
Have you ever thought to yourself how ridiculous this disorder is? Seriously! What are we doing? We keep going down the same path hoping that we’ll reach a different outcome but it’s not going to happen. Every time I give in, every time I listen to Anorexia, all I am doing is delaying my life,… Continue reading Choosing Recovery
Practical support is kicking my ass these days…although admittedly it is early days. I have done 4 now. One snack and three lunches. I should probably explain what practical is right? Well, basically a member of my treatment team comes round and supports me to have food either at a snack time or they will… Continue reading Practical Support
There are cracks appearing and some days I think they are going to split wide open and swallow me up. There are some that I have been trying to paper over but I realise that it’s not realistic to expect it to last. Sooner or later I’m going to fall in if I’m not careful.… Continue reading Cracks and Trust
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Replacing your neurotic misery with ordinary human unhappiness.
This is my story of abuse,self harm, bulimia and much more..
adventures in food
letters to my eating disorder
Developing the courage to accept myslef for who I truly am.
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“Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like.”
Climbing The Ladder To Freedom: A Life Free From Anorexia
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Life behind an Eating Disorder
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