Things are getting progressively worse here. I’m not quite sure what to do with myself. As I mentioned the other day I was having some muscular pain in my neck which was making things harder than they should be. After a pretty awful day of it one of the other patients offered to do some… Continue reading The Damage Done
I’m trying to be happy today…I really am. It’s my birthday. I don’t want to be sad even if they don’t mean that much to me. But I was weighed this morning and seeing that number go up the way that it has it making me want to cry or crawl out of my skin.… Continue reading Weight Gain
I like to think that I am not a person that gets triggered…at all. I try to convince myself that I am above all that, that others people thoughts and behaviours don’t matter to me. They are going to do and be what they’re going to be and I’m going to do my own thing.… Continue reading Body Image is Not Logical
Relationships are hard work and my family is beginning to show the signs of strain. There is a lot going on right now and everyone is kind of struggling here. My Mother is taking on most of the pressure and in truth I don’t know how much longer she will last without having some kind… Continue reading Family Relationships
For some reason there is exhaustion in my bones today. Maybe it is the weekend catching up with me? I’m not sure but I can’t help but think that if I didn’t have an eating disorder then I might have a little more energy to work with. That in itself should be motivation enough to… Continue reading Accountabilty
Tonight I went my support group in the hope that once there I would find the courage to say the things out loud which I’ve only been able to say to you my lovely readers. However once there I found that my words got stuck in my throat. I struggled to verbalise the thoughts that… Continue reading Group and realisations.
Last night I opened up the new post page with the intention of writing and yet when it came down to it I realised that I had nothing to say, at least nothing that was new or original. I don’t think I ever realised just how repetitive this eating disorder cycle can be. It’s always… Continue reading It’s not time to give in.