Things are getting progressively worse here. I’m not quite sure what to do with myself. As I mentioned the other day I was having some muscular pain in my neck which was making things harder than they should be. After a pretty awful day of it one of the other patients offered to do some… Continue reading The Damage Done
It’s a difficult day today simply because I am so overwhelmingly exhausted (and a little bit because it was weigh in this morning). I think all my early mornings are finally catching up with me and even just the changing of the clocks this year seems to have thrown me even further out of sync.… Continue reading Useful Group
It is now day 41 of treatment. Is it terrible that I’m still keeping count like that? I think I do it because I don’t want to let myself forget that I still have a life that I left behind and that it wasn’t that long ago. It’s easy to let the time blur and… Continue reading Treatment Luck
Throughout this stay as an inpatient I’ve mainly talked about the emotional and mental changes that I have been experiencing. I haven’t really talked about the physical side and what that has been like but I think it’s important that I do because it is such a huge chunk of what it means to enter… Continue reading Physical Parts of Treatment
As you know the last few times that I’ve posted I have been in a quite a dark place. Things have felt overwhelming and the hope of recovery had begun to feel like something that may be unachievable. There have been quite a number of times when I have sat in my room on the… Continue reading Underestimating Anorexia
Weigh in again this morning. It’s getting to me more as the weeks go by. I equally want to stop it before it goes any higher but not stop it because it means that I will reach my target quicker therefore spending less time in hospital. Yet, it doesn’t really matter what I want it… Continue reading No theme post
It’s been nearly 5 weeks now since I came into treatment and the reality of my weight gain is beginning to get to me more and more each day. It is the hardest thing to look at or feel and not be able to shy away from the swells and rises that weren’t as pronounced… Continue reading Dig your own grave
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