I’ve been making lists in my head. Ones that I am getting excited about to be honest and whenever I struggle or come up against a situation that it is difficult I add that to my list. It seems to be working or at least minimising my anxiety and fear over what the future is… Continue reading Possibly exicted?
I have a date for admission. It’s in just over 2 weeks and honestly I haven’t quite processed it yet. There was this moment today when I was sat in my appointment and my therapist asked me if this was what I still wanted. I almost said no. I’ve changed my mind…maybe I can make… Continue reading Countdown Begins
This was never supposed to be how my life turned out. It was never supposed to be this way. You know, most days I can take it. I can think of my past and my present and all that has happened which has led me to this very point and I can be ok with… Continue reading I’m Not at Peace with it.
I exist in a world that is filled with people who I am grateful for. They have no idea how sometimes just their very presence can make my day into something that feels good. It reminds me why I want my life back and that there is something to come back to. I was in… Continue reading A fear is going to have to be faced
Things are feeling like they are in some kind of suspended state lately. I’m waiting…I guess for the day that things are better. For that day when I get up and it doesn’t feel like I’m being suffocated by something. It’s just the longer I wait, the more doubtful I become that that type of… Continue reading Please Leave
Sometimes sadness is limitless isn’t it? They say it’s like a wave, how it washes over you and just when you think the worst of it has passed, just when you manage to catch your breath, it strikes again and you lose your balance. It’s relentless like that. I find that to be a true… Continue reading Interrupted
I always thought that an Eating Disorder was a very personal affair. It’s something that happens to you or by you and no one else is really involved. In fact, I think that’s one of the things that always drew me back to it. I could take what was hurting me and deal with it… Continue reading Remembering the Family/Friends
It’s been one of those days that has been emotionally very trying but for no apparent reason what so ever. It started off badly courtesy of the scale, a thrown off routine and a mirror image which told me the only thing that I should be doing today was either hurting myself or going back… Continue reading There is a Plan
Relationships are hard work and my family is beginning to show the signs of strain. There is a lot going on right now and everyone is kind of struggling here. My Mother is taking on most of the pressure and in truth I don’t know how much longer she will last without having some kind… Continue reading Family Relationships
The hopelessness has lessened today and the relief is overwhelming. To just be able to think a little clearer has helped me to become more focused on what I want to achieve. I don’t know what has been the thing that has helped but I am not about to argue its existence. If hope wants… Continue reading Emergency Letter