There have been so many emotions that I have felt today that I’m not even trying to keep up anymore. I think I’m coming to accept that for now my moods are going to be fluid and that my thoughts are going to jump from perfectly rational to extreme in the space of about 5 seconds. I’m wasting energy trying to fight them. All I need to do is focus on reminding myself that nothing stays the same forever and whatever state that I happen to be in, given time, it will pass. Trying to control them or getting frustrated because it’s not how I want things to be will not help matters at all. I have to learn to be more patient with myself in both my recovery and my life. I have to because it’s too exhausting not to.
I know this is post is only brief but I am finding it hard to concentrate tonight. A lot has happened and I am also physically exhausted from shovelling 3 tonnes of slate! Probably not my finest idea but it needed doing and my Mum needed help. I am however going to sign off for the night and get some rest. I will write again soon.
I hope you guys have been good to yourselves.