It has taken me the last couple of days to get over Mondays little emotional breakdown but I think I’m getting there. I can’t believe how much it drained me! I had one side of my brain saying “Come on lass, get up and get on with stuff” whilst the other side said “Go back to bed. Hide. You don’t really want to be a part of the world anyway”. Instead I’ve just kind of being drifting somewhere in the middle, trying to engage with my environment, trying to keep up the banter during Christmas coffees with colleagues, trying to follow a line of thought for more than 30 seconds. It’s been a challenge not to let the negativity get to me and influence my behaviours, and I think that will always be there, that possibility that when things get unsettling my default response will be to restrict or be destructive and I’m going to have to stop myself from engaging. Here’s what I need to get used to though, it’s ok for me to be kind to myself during these times. My mood is always going to be an issue and I need to stop punishing myself when it hits a low point, accept that no matter how much I tell myself to ‘snap out of it’ or that ‘it’s not acceptable’ or ‘an inconvenience’ it’s not going to make a difference. It will right itself in its own time if I treat myself well. So that’s what I’ve been trying to do and I think I may have discovered the café that does the best coffee in my whole town in the process.
So that’s what I’m going to ask you to do in the next couple of days, do something that’s good for you, something that genuinely makes you smile or stills the raging thoughts that may be going on in your mind.
Be good to yourself guys.