I had my doubts about today. You know those mornings when you wake up and just think “Nope, not today. Let’s just skip over it and try again tomorrow”? It happens before you even actually get out of bed. This morning I actually slept later than usual and still did not want to get up… Continue reading Friday appointments
I’ve completely checked out this week. I feel out of control and far too big and uncomfortable and the only thing I can think about is making that number go back down again. Things are getting missed out and I should probably feel more guilty about that than what I do, but I don’t…Instead I… Continue reading The need/want should be gone by now.
The morning after and I’m trying to build myself back up again. It is strange to have an ok night that is heavily mixed in with a bitter emotion because I never know what I seem to be feeling. Just a lot of different things collide at once and I wonder how it is capable… Continue reading I went out on a saturday night 😮
So here’s what’s weird that’s going on in my world tonight. I’m sat here at an old neighbours birthday party surrounded by the people who have known me since I was a kid and I’m playing games with the kid of the guy who abused me. She’s a good kid and she’s family but somehow… Continue reading Weird night going on.
A sadness is resting inside of me and I don’t know how to make it let go of me, neither do I know how I am supposed to just sit with it without trying to transform it into something that’s easier for me to handle. It’s always been a difficult emotion for me because it… Continue reading Sadness seems too hard
Is everyone else in the whole world having a good time but me? Seriously! If I have to look at one more picture of smiling people on nights out I’m going to hit something. It’s not that I’m anti-party, it’s just that I’m jealous. At one point that’s what my life used to look like… Continue reading Pointless mini rant.
It feels like the last few days have lasted an eternity. They have not been kind to me but I am hopeful that things will start to turn around soon. I didn’t react very well to the medication and ended up not only feeling physically unwell from them but my anxiety seemed to sky-rocket. I… Continue reading It shouldn’t make me want to cry.
Originally posted on Desperate Housewife:
I have debated doing a post like this for a while. But, I feel like there is no other option anymore. I have been asked, countless times, during my struggle with my eating disorder, “Why don’t you just eat”. And when I say it is not that simple I get…
Yesterday’s session with my therapist was hard work!! I feel myself beginning to trust her and as though I want to be able to tell her things and this freaks me out more than anything. I almost let go of one of my biggest secrets during the appointment, the words pressing heavily on my tongue… Continue reading Still here.
Sometimes it seems like I am two people housed in the same body. There is the me that goes to classes and smiles, who makes jokes in the office whilst doing several jobs at once, and who appears confident and as though they know what they’re talking about. Then there is the other side and… Continue reading End of week catch up.