No matter how much time passes, it is still hard. Still hard to get on that scale, watch the numbers go up and still make yourself sit down and eat.
Everyday I torture myself with my scale, and not just once but repeatedly! Obviously it is not doing me any good, but for some reason I cannot stop or step away. It’s ridiculous really. I know that the scale will change throughout the day. I know that that number has no reflection on the type of person I am and ultimately means nothing. I know this but for some reason I am still looking for what? Reassurance? Safety? Validation? A whole lot of things that I will never actually find in a number.
I have to stop. I have to get off the scale. I have to stop wasting my life like this.