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Weight
Eating Disorders are not about weight. I know this. You may know this. Weight is merely one symptom of a difficulty that destroys every aspect of our lives and compromises how we function. When I think of the impact of Anorexia on my life, what I think about is the missed opportunities, the lost potential,… Continue reading
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Gratitude
A couple of days ago, I tested positive for covid. Somehow, despite working within a hospital, I have managed to avoid it for 3 years. Yet, it showed up and predictably at the most inconvenient time. I was supposed to be returning to work this week after 6 months off. It was not the same… Continue reading
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This Time will be Different
“This time will be different” Those are the words that I tell myself. Those are the words that I am trying so hard to believe. I need this time to be different. I need to be willing to go all the way and not get frightened off halfway through, like I have done every other… Continue reading
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10 Years
It is hard to believe that it has been nearly 10 years since I started this blog and tried to put words to my experience of recovering from an Eating Disorder. There have been gaps, whole years that have passed where I did not write and yet something inside of me has always stopped me… Continue reading
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Hard Days
Today is a hard day. As was yesterday. And the day before that….I guess I am having a lot of hard days lately. Sometimes, I sit and try to remember if there has ever been a day that didn’t feel so breathtakingly hard. I question my history, doubt the photos of me smiling and distort… Continue reading
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Just Eat
Have you questioned what it would be like to just stop? To wake up one morning and pretend that the monster in your head is no longer worth listening to. Is that how recovery starts? Is it that simple? I am not a stranger to the words “just eat”. Those words or variations of those… Continue reading
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A Rejection of ‘Living Well with Anorexia’
Anorexia is a truly devastating disorder. Treatment is often inadequate, late and only accessible to those few who can either afford private care or have become so physically unwell, they are likely to die without immediate intervention. Yet, we know those who have access to good quality treatment, early into their experience, are more likely… Continue reading
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A Quick Recap…
This post is about the last few weeks. I wrote that I had stopped fighting pretty much. I had been living my life for the last year, although admittedly longer, sustaining my Eating Disorder, refusing to admit that I had Anorexia or that I was even unwell. I found a way to live with it…even… Continue reading
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A Message to You…
My body cannot be your battleground any longer. This skin, these bones, my weakened struggling heart are no longer yours to hurt, to ruin, or to blame. I am taking it back. This body is mine. My body is my home. I will make it safe. You are not safe and you are not welcome. Continue reading
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Lies
Lying to protect an Eating Disorder is quite a common phenomenon. There are the lies to get out of eating, the lies about the bodies we inhabit and there are the lies in which individuals attempt to hide the depth of their pain. Some are better than others at telling these lies and some tell… Continue reading
About Me
Just one more person trying to find a way through to the other side of an Eating Disorder
Day by Day 