bulimia recovery
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A Quick Recap…
This post is about the last few weeks. I wrote that I had stopped fighting pretty much. I had been living my life for the last year, although admittedly longer, sustaining my Eating Disorder, refusing to admit that I had Anorexia or that I was even unwell. I found a way to live with it…even… Continue reading
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What I’m waiting for
My grasp on time is slowly slipping away, as the days pass they begin to seem to blur into one. Differentiating between what happened yesterday and what happened 5 days ago can seem impossible most of the time. My days are taken up by the same thoughts, struggles and uncertainties that make me consider how… Continue reading
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Options 1, 2 and 3
Last night I sat and watched a documentary on Eating Disorders. I listened to men and women talk about how they lost themselves to their disorders and in the end how they found themselves again. All but one seemed to be either firmly in recovery or considered themselves to be completely recovered. These individuals were… Continue reading
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Differences
It’s hitting me that things can’t carry on the way that they have been. I can’t keep continuing to let myself become weaker and more pliable in the hands of the eating disorder. Where did my inspiration go? Where did my hope go? Was it so precarious that the slightest bit of a breeze could… Continue reading
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The Dis and Ad vantages
Yesterday I officially hit my late twenties. It was an OK day. Nobody made me push harder than I was capable of and for that I was more grateful than anything else. I managed to pull myself out of the sadness which had left me hiding out in my house for the latter part of… Continue reading
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Not Over
My world at the moment is me feeling like I am constantly collapsing in on myself. Sometimes I get this brief moment where there is this thought that potentially it has stopped, there is a silence, there is an easier breath or a fleeting smile and I think maybe…maybe the storm has run it’s course,… Continue reading
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Sparks
This morning my brain worked with me. I got that spark, that buzzing energy that comes when you have all these thoughts spilling out of you and one idea leads to another. It was wonderful to experience that when for so long things have just been bland and empty. I had a meeting with my… Continue reading
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Do Not Fear Recovery
Recovery is a big thing. It is turning the life that you have known for however long completely upside down. It’s unlearning and relearning things that most people have figured out by the time they have stepped out of that time we call childhood. There are so many things that it holds that as much… Continue reading
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Classes have resumed
I keep expecting to wake up and find that my world has righted itself in the night. I expect for things to go back to how they were when although they may not have been brilliant, they were fine. Instead I wake up each morning and it feels worse than the day before. Another dip… Continue reading
About Me
Just one more person trying to find a way through to the other side of an Eating Disorder